My internet is very very slow and fractured. Sorry, no pictures and videos. They are all stuck here, with no way to upload. Just so frustrating. But bear with me. Praying hard for a good provider, one which is honest. The economy here is in upheaval. The exchange of rm to grv increased from 1.8 to 2.2 overnight. i'm glad i atm-ed money when i had the chance, but i'm not sure if its going to get any higher, and if so, how much i stand to loose. but I thank God that there is a good rate, and praying hard for a restoration of balance. cos its just so confusing...

Today is my birthday. I'm officially 23. Feeling the love and joy and bones creaking. lol. And to think it coincides with the debates finals today. I'm glad that things turn out the way it did. Debates was a blast. the last 2 weeks have been total havoc for us - mila, iquin and rubben - oh the late nights. the poi parties. the nostalgia. in a way i'm glad its over, and sad its over. given another chance, i'd do it again in a heartbeat. the best birthday gift is to win this thing with jesus' blessing. im so proud of u guys! ok. now to see if i can upload any photos. i wish... lol.

Hurried post

My internet is not stable at all. Its a wonder I can type this even now.

5 more mins till Internal Disease with the witch queen. Eurghh... makes me squirm... yuck. Witch queen is definitely an understatement. Hehe. Looking forward to music ministry rehearsal tonight. Going to be a blast!

Rocking the boat

" Therefore we receiving a kingdom which cannot be moved, let us have grace, by which we may serve God acceptably with reverence and godly fear: For our God is a consuming fire."
Hebrews 12: 28 - 29

As I sit here, trying to find a way to pen thoughts to words, the words keep on evading me, where thoughts permeates and saturates my mind. It has been two weeks, and for two weeks I can feel God speaking to me every single moment. In everything I do, in every thought I have, in every step I take - He is there. This is not a feeling, it is a passion that if kept silent will burst and implode me from within. And here he leads me to the point of my life, here at my crossroads and bridges. Here, he's telling me to burn my bridges, and not to look back. And here I am with my torch lit, ready to take the step of faith, to totally surrender the rest of my life unto the loving hands of the Father. Not just a portion of my life, not just when I feel when I'm loosing control, not just my Sundays, but all of me, and everything that I am.

A proclaimation it is, a loud one at that. There is no room for 'what-ifs' or doubts. I no longer wish to live life holding on to baggages that are not mine to carry. I no longer wish to be lukewarm, to be on the fence, to be half baked. To give my life, following Jesus for all the demands it entails, is not a sacrifice - it is a privilege. Indeed, the zeal for God's house will consume me.

"And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it. For what is a man profited, if he gain the whole world, and lose himself, or suffer loss?"
Luke 9:23-25

I had been led to believe that this is of my choosing, the cross that I am carrying is of my doing. But Jesus stressed, "You did not choose me; I chose you". Through all the troubles of my life, he has shown that he yearns for my attention - by rocking my boat, hard and swift. The bridge is burnt. An eternity forwards awaits, hand in hand with Jesus by my side.

Megaupdate

You know, experience had always taught me that lectures were lifesavers of a medical student. All those extra time for you to pack and cram more stuff in, to hurry up unfinished homeworks, to catch some shut eyes. Ahh… such happy memories (maybe not that happy, but still…). Until this year when suddenly they decided to change the system (for the umpteenth time, again). Now we have 4-5 lectures a day for 3 consecutive weeks. No classes, no hospital lessons, no practicals – just pure lecture marathons. Now before you seniors out there start assaulting me with envy, let me tell you just what to expect. This is translated to 8 hours non stop lectures – 8 hours of brutal listening, 8 hours of hunger pangs, 8 hours of carpal tunnel (from the writing, soon to develop if it hasn’t already), 8 hours of counting sheep… you name it. In essence, its torture. To go through the same thing over and over again. And over. Again. I’m sooooooo glad that its over and done with, mind you, I’m most definitely not looking forward to that again in the near future.

But with the lecture season there comes a time for some memories of course. Kicking start the memoirs of these 3 weeks are:

1. Gory lectures

This is how lectures all look like. You just sit and listen and try to write out your notes before the lecturer turns the slide away. Now this particular lecture just wasn’t like other lectures. This is actually gory. Forensic medicine fascinates me in the sense that I felt like I wasn’t studying medicine for a moment there. I felt like studying to be a CSI agent or something. Stuff like how to differentiate suicide and homicide, gunshot wounds, liver biopsy to determine time of death and all. But this particular lecture was about injuries.

This is a homicidal slashing injury. It just made me feel sick at how people can do this to other people. Even after death it can trigger such disgust in me. I wonder how I would have felt if I was there looking at the act being committed. Humans can be capable of so much - both good and evil. Makes me wonder what our hearts are made of really.

2. Sleepy chronicles II (or III, forgot if Sue ever did wrote a II)

Look who's caught sleeping. More to come, so keep your eyes peeled.

3. Funky fruits

When we arrived, grape season was nearing to an end. At church we have this huge grapevine that spirals all over the place. And it was bearing an obscene amount of grapes. It would be a sin to let all those wonderful tasty thingies go to waste. Look at that!

Don't you wish you can reach out and pluck them all? We did!

And I used to think that grapes grows like apples on trees. Lol.

Well, the grapevine is in church, and this is Bro Al's house behind the church.

And this is well, a twin plum of sorts. Bought these in the market. Never pluck from trees.

This is most definitely not my creation. Estimate the diagram at own risk.

4. Rainy days

It rains on and off and on and off now. Its wise to bring an umbrella along. But what happens when you forget? (or just lazy for that matter). Here's what -

5. Mooncake festival

It goes to say that even if you're far away from home, home doesn't have to be faraway from you. That might not be true in all cases, but thankfully home made meals aren't too tough to cook up. For 20 people at least.

Unfortunately, I spent a bad night and day with a horrible diarrhoea. Perhaps I was too anxious to have eaten some raw stuff. Eurghhh... raw sotong... belch...

6. New Room!

I’ve always wanted to get out of the old room (yeah, since I mentioned ‘old’, you ppl would’ve guessed it by now). So now officiating the new room for the year. MY new room. I am so shaking with ecstasy while typing this now, giggling like a little kid inside. I have a new room. I can’t believe this is happening. Wheee!

This is my corner. With a nice big new table, and with a lot of stuff on it. Previously, I’d never considered putting much stuff on my table, preferring to hide it away if possible. You never know when things can get lost in the old room. Oh, the insecurities that comes with living with ‘some’ people. Now my stuff are everywhere. Literally. Oh wait wait. Its called SECURITY. Yeahh!

This are my bookshelves. Yeah note the ‘s’. That means more than one. Eat your hearts out people. It’s a gift from the commandant.

Khai Fatt’s corner. Not as cool as my corner, or as messy, but is well all the same. Maybe its his gf, but oh well. We have a carpet for crying out loud! A nice new carpet without burnt marks or dreary holes. Or hair balls! So so exciting. We also have new drapes!

The mini kitchen, where all cooking utensils, food and drinks are. Its so clean and inviting. Like, inviting you to eat and drink. Makes me swoon with pleasure at the thought, lol. Note also the big cupboard, all to myself. I had thought that the old cupboard was big, but this is humongous.

Now there you have it. Updates painstakingly and lovingly brought to you with a hopelessly fractured connection. I need a good service provider soon or I shall

That time again

I never fail to have a bout of insomnia right about this time of the year. The fact that I've been through this 3 times already doesn't quite make it any easier. Waking up in the middle of the night, counting the minutes till I have to go back to Simfy. And then the thought strikes you, like a thief in the night - its going to be another 10 months. Its an icky feeling. Ickiness just don't leave you alone, does it?

Hoping and looking ahead to a new year with a refreshed mind, renewed conscience, rejuvenated spirit. May this new term don't rain on our parade.

Casting pearls before swine

What does it mean to share the Gospel? Is our success (or failure) measured by the number of 'souls saved' per month? It became apparent that if we let numbers determine our ability to share the Word, then we'd have let the world undermine the Lord's capabilities. The Truth is greater than anything man has ever known, it stands the test of time, and it doesn't rely on people to prove its worth. Sharing the Word is a simple matter of letting the Truth be known. Since it is the ULTIMATE truth, it doesn't need convincing. If I had to convince a person of the truth, I'd have failed, miserably; even if the person accepts my argument, I'd only convinced him that my argument is true. The real Truth would have eluded him, since arguments are only superficial.

In the end, whether if a person truly accepts Christ after listening to the message, is not for us to decide. We are only messengers. Let the message prove its own worth, and rejoice at the people who understands the message and accepts it. I stopped spending too much time on those who do not appreciate the gospel. Why are we often so hesitant to give up on someone whom we believe to be a good prospect, but does not appreciate the gospel? When the Lord sent out the apostles on commission He said, "And whoever will not receive you nor hear you, when you depart from there, shake off the dust under your feet as a testimony against them" (Mark 6:11).
Likewise, in the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus said, "Do not give what is holy to the dogs; nor cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you in pieces" (Matt. 7:6)

Dogs and swines are unclean animals. To cast pearls before swine is to press forward the truth of the gospel unto those who despises it and treats it as filth. In the same manner, Jesus refuses to answer the Pharisees who are self righteous and corrupt. When it is time to move on, move on. We degrade the gospel when we take the very best that we have and lay it at the feet of swine.

Hols in Ukraine

There's that saying that goes - be careful what you wish for, cause, you'd just might get it.

Yeah, wishing for a break throughout the entire semester had me craving for holidays since whenever. And now that its here, and I'm stuck here in this town without anything to do, well, it sucks. To make it more suckier, I had to watch all the people in my floor leave back home. It just sucks. To think that I could've been home now with my family and friends, that sucked. Now, all that could've changed. Supposedly, the dekan, or the ministry or whoever way up there could've let us off early IF they allowed us to sit for krok 1 early - but no. Thriving on the suckiness of it all, they had to put it off till July. And so, it sucked. Hard. Sucks. Bleauuuurgh...

My medulla is travelling down my spine, my cerebrum is crawling in my skin, my mind is going out of me, my hypophysis is melting into my veins, I am growing nuts in the cortex as I sit typing this. Flowery junk that is nonsensical as this illusion of freedom I am living now in this moment.

I have to find something to do. I have to find something more to do other than trying to beat high scores in facebook. I need entertainment thats worthy of being entertaining. I need a life other than this. I want out!

Ahh... I could read. I could write. I could draw. I could paint. I could cook. I could sing. Maybe I would. When I stop feeling bored.