Pieces of Infinity

2008-11-29T15:01:00.001-08:00

My internet is very very slow and fractured. Sorry, no pictures and videos. They are all stuck here, with no way to upload. Just so frustrating. But bear with me. Praying hard for a good provider, one which is honest. The economy here is in upheaval. The exchange of rm to grv increased from 1.8 to 2.2 overnight. i'm glad i atm-ed money when i had the chance, but i'm not sure if its going to get any higher, and if so, how much i stand to loose. but I thank God that there is a good rate, and praying hard for a restoration of balance. cos its just so confusing...

Today is my birthday. I'm officially 23. Feeling the love and joy and bones creaking. lol. And to think it coincides with the debates finals today. I'm glad that things turn out the way it did. Debates was a blast. the last 2 weeks have been total havoc for us - mila, iquin and rubben - oh the late nights. the poi parties. the nostalgia. in a way i'm glad its over, and sad its over. given another chance, i'd do it again in a heartbeat. the best birthday gift is to win this thing with jesus' blessing. im so proud of u guys! ok. now to see if i can upload any photos. i wish... lol.

Hurried post

2008-11-06T01:55:00.000-08:00

My internet is not stable at all. Its a wonder I can type this even now.

5 more mins till Internal Disease with the witch queen. Eurghh... makes me squirm... yuck. Witch queen is definitely an understatement. Hehe. Looking forward to music ministry rehearsal tonight. Going to be a blast!

Rocking the boat

2008-10-13T15:29:00.000-07:00

" Therefore we receiving a kingdom which cannot be moved, let us have grace, by which we may serve God acceptably with reverence and godly fear: For our God is a consuming fire."
Hebrews 12: 28 - 29

As I sit here, trying to find a way to pen thoughts to words, the words keep on evading me, where thoughts permeates and saturates my mind. It has been two weeks, and for two weeks I can feel God speaking to me every single moment. In everything I do, in every thought I have, in every step I take - He is there. This is not a feeling, it is a passion that if kept silent will burst and implode me from within. And here he leads me to the point of my life, here at my crossroads and bridges. Here, he's telling me to burn my bridges, and not to look back. And here I am with my torch lit, ready to take the step of faith, to totally surrender the rest of my life unto the loving hands of the Father. Not just a portion of my life, not just when I feel when I'm loosing control, not just my Sundays, but all of me, and everything that I am.

A proclaimation it is, a loud one at that. There is no room for 'what-ifs' or doubts. I no longer wish to live life holding on to baggages that are not mine to carry. I no longer wish to be lukewarm, to be on the fence, to be half baked. To give my life, following Jesus for all the demands it entails, is not a sacrifice - it is a privilege. Indeed, the zeal for God's house will consume me.

"And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it. For what is a man profited, if he gain the whole world, and lose himself, or suffer loss?"
Luke 9:23-25

I had been led to believe that this is of my choosing, the cross that I am carrying is of my doing. But Jesus stressed, "You did not choose me; I chose you". Through all the troubles of my life, he has shown that he yearns for my attention - by rocking my boat, hard and swift. The bridge is burnt. An eternity forwards awaits, hand in hand with Jesus by my side.

Megaupdate

2008-09-18T07:32:00.000-07:00

You know, experience had always taught me that lectures were lifesavers of a medical student. All those extra time for you to pack and cram more stuff in, to hurry up unfinished homeworks, to catch some shut eyes. Ahh… such happy memories (maybe not that happy, but still…). Until this year when suddenly they decided to change the system (for the umpteenth time, again). Now we have 4-5 lectures a day for 3 consecutive weeks. No classes, no hospital lessons, no practicals – just pure lecture marathons. Now before you seniors out there start assaulting me with envy, let me tell you just what to expect. This is translated to 8 hours non stop lectures – 8 hours of brutal listening, 8 hours of hunger pangs, 8 hours of carpal tunnel (from the writing, soon to develop if it hasn’t already), 8 hours of counting sheep… you name it. In essence, its torture. To go through the same thing over and over again. And over. Again. I’m sooooooo glad that its over and done with, mind you, I’m most definitely not looking forward to that again in the near future.

But with the lecture season there comes a time for some memories of course. Kicking start the memoirs of these 3 weeks are:

1. Gory lectures

This is how lectures all look like. You just sit and listen and try to write out your notes before the lecturer turns the slide away. Now this particular lecture just wasn’t like other lectures. This is actually gory. Forensic medicine fascinates me in the sense that I felt like I wasn’t studying medicine for a moment there. I felt like studying to be a CSI agent or something. Stuff like how to differentiate suicide and homicide, gunshot wounds, liver biopsy to determine time of death and all. But this particular lecture was about injuries.

This is a homicidal slashing injury. It just made me feel sick at how people can do this to other people. Even after death it can trigger such disgust in me. I wonder how I would have felt if I was there looking at the act being committed. Humans can be capable of so much - both good and evil. Makes me wonder what our hearts are made of really.

2. Sleepy chronicles II (or III, forgot if Sue ever did wrote a II)

Look who's caught sleeping. More to come, so keep your eyes peeled.

3. Funky fruits

When we arrived, grape season was nearing to an end. At church we have this huge grapevine that spirals all over the place. And it was bearing an obscene amount of grapes. It would be a sin to let all those wonderful tasty thingies go to waste. Look at that!

Don't you wish you can reach out and pluck them all? We did!

And I used to think that grapes grows like apples on trees. Lol.

Well, the grapevine is in church, and this is Bro Al's house behind the church.

And this is well, a twin plum of sorts. Bought these in the market. Never pluck from trees.

This is most definitely not my creation. Estimate the diagram at own risk.

4. Rainy days

It rains on and off and on and off now. Its wise to bring an umbrella along. But what happens when you forget? (or just lazy for that matter). Here's what -

5. Mooncake festival

It goes to say that even if you're far away from home, home doesn't have to be faraway from you. That might not be true in all cases, but thankfully home made meals aren't too tough to cook up. For 20 people at least.

Unfortunately, I spent a bad night and day with a horrible diarrhoea. Perhaps I was too anxious to have eaten some raw stuff. Eurghhh... raw sotong... belch...

6. New Room!

I’ve always wanted to get out of the old room (yeah, since I mentioned ‘old’, you ppl would’ve guessed it by now). So now officiating the new room for the year. MY new room. I am so shaking with ecstasy while typing this now, giggling like a little kid inside. I have a new room. I can’t believe this is happening. Wheee!

This is my corner. With a nice big new table, and with a lot of stuff on it. Previously, I’d never considered putting much stuff on my table, preferring to hide it away if possible. You never know when things can get lost in the old room. Oh, the insecurities that comes with living with ‘some’ people. Now my stuff are everywhere. Literally. Oh wait wait. Its called SECURITY. Yeahh!

This are my bookshelves. Yeah note the ‘s’. That means more than one. Eat your hearts out people. It’s a gift from the commandant.

Khai Fatt’s corner. Not as cool as my corner, or as messy, but is well all the same. Maybe its his gf, but oh well. We have a carpet for crying out loud! A nice new carpet without burnt marks or dreary holes. Or hair balls! So so exciting. We also have new drapes!

The mini kitchen, where all cooking utensils, food and drinks are. Its so clean and inviting. Like, inviting you to eat and drink. Makes me swoon with pleasure at the thought, lol. Note also the big cupboard, all to myself. I had thought that the old cupboard was big, but this is humongous.

Now there you have it. Updates painstakingly and lovingly brought to you with a hopelessly fractured connection. I need a good service provider soon or I shall

That time again

2008-08-27T00:50:00.000-07:00

I never fail to have a bout of insomnia right about this time of the year. The fact that I've been through this 3 times already doesn't quite make it any easier. Waking up in the middle of the night, counting the minutes till I have to go back to Simfy. And then the thought strikes you, like a thief in the night - its going to be another 10 months. Its an icky feeling. Ickiness just don't leave you alone, does it?

Hoping and looking ahead to a new year with a refreshed mind, renewed conscience, rejuvenated spirit. May this new term don't rain on our parade.

Casting pearls before swine

2008-07-21T22:42:00.000-07:00

What does it mean to share the Gospel? Is our success (or failure) measured by the number of 'souls saved' per month? It became apparent that if we let numbers determine our ability to share the Word, then we'd have let the world undermine the Lord's capabilities. The Truth is greater than anything man has ever known, it stands the test of time, and it doesn't rely on people to prove its worth. Sharing the Word is a simple matter of letting the Truth be known. Since it is the ULTIMATE truth, it doesn't need convincing. If I had to convince a person of the truth, I'd have failed, miserably; even if the person accepts my argument, I'd only convinced him that my argument is true. The real Truth would have eluded him, since arguments are only superficial.

In the end, whether if a person truly accepts Christ after listening to the message, is not for us to decide. We are only messengers. Let the message prove its own worth, and rejoice at the people who understands the message and accepts it. I stopped spending too much time on those who do not appreciate the gospel. Why are we often so hesitant to give up on someone whom we believe to be a good prospect, but does not appreciate the gospel? When the Lord sent out the apostles on commission He said, "And whoever will not receive you nor hear you, when you depart from there, shake off the dust under your feet as a testimony against them" (Mark 6:11).
Likewise, in the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus said, "Do not give what is holy to the dogs; nor cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you in pieces" (Matt. 7:6)

Dogs and swines are unclean animals. To cast pearls before swine is to press forward the truth of the gospel unto those who despises it and treats it as filth. In the same manner, Jesus refuses to answer the Pharisees who are self righteous and corrupt. When it is time to move on, move on. We degrade the gospel when we take the very best that we have and lay it at the feet of swine.

Hols in Ukraine

2008-06-17T12:25:00.000-07:00

There's that saying that goes - be careful what you wish for, cause, you'd just might get it.

Yeah, wishing for a break throughout the entire semester had me craving for holidays since whenever. And now that its here, and I'm stuck here in this town without anything to do, well, it sucks. To make it more suckier, I had to watch all the people in my floor leave back home. It just sucks. To think that I could've been home now with my family and friends, that sucked. Now, all that could've changed. Supposedly, the dekan, or the ministry or whoever way up there could've let us off early IF they allowed us to sit for krok 1 early - but no. Thriving on the suckiness of it all, they had to put it off till July. And so, it sucked. Hard. Sucks. Bleauuuurgh...

My medulla is travelling down my spine, my cerebrum is crawling in my skin, my mind is going out of me, my hypophysis is melting into my veins, I am growing nuts in the cortex as I sit typing this. Flowery junk that is nonsensical as this illusion of freedom I am living now in this moment.

I have to find something to do. I have to find something more to do other than trying to beat high scores in facebook. I need entertainment thats worthy of being entertaining. I need a life other than this. I want out!

Ahh... I could read. I could write. I could draw. I could paint. I could cook. I could sing. Maybe I would. When I stop feeling bored.

What I've learned here for 3 years

2008-06-06T05:59:00.000-07:00

Yeah, lengthy title that describes a lengthy story. As the semester comes to a close soon, and seniors are packing their bags to go home, so I sat here looking at my roommate cleaning the room for the first time (and the last), I contemplate. What have I learnt really, since being here 3 years ago? Aside from the usual stuff we are supposed to learn (or aren't supposed to ;P), I figured that my 3 years can be broken down to specific themes. Here's to...

1st year.
This is the year of GRACE.

It was because I simply didn't really thought I deserved all those blessings showered abundantly on me, given the way I've been acting. Hence, the theme. Well, I must admit that I've been studying hard, harder than I've ever had before in my entire lifetime. But it was at the cost of being an obnoxious outcast amongst friends. You know - the snob, better than thou. I remember that I used to get into frequent fights between them, the thoughtless comments I made. Perhaps it was because I looked down too hard on them, or I was just immatured yet. In terms of studies I've made some progress, but that can't be said for my friendships really. In fact, even Khai Fatt used to be so irritated at me. :)

I was in and out of church, trying to skip it whenever I could. It was not my main priority then I suppose. Growing up being labeled a Christian, but never going to church- that didn't really bothered me. I guess being a church-hopper never made me feel included in any of the churches I've been to, so why would this be any different? So there I sat, sleeping awake at the sermons. No impact - no change.

Then the second semester came, and I feel the walls coming down. Something, I don't know, but something made me realize that there's a need for change. And within that semester, I've grown closer to my groupmates, and grown so much more as a person. Learning to care for people is one of the best things you can do for yourself. It was as if God was opening my eyes to the blunders I've made since whenever - and that was the time I felt I've grown up - be a man. Looking back now, I was quite shocked, pleasantly, but still - shocked, at what friends tell me. Pei Teng and Sue now and then casually remind me of how hated I was before. Given the circumstances, I can't disagree. I could've easily been my own worst enemy.

Church, well - I tried to participate more at church, but was still not sure about a lot of things. The amazing thing was that He never gave up on me. But I wasn't truly devout, yet. And then, came...

2nd year.
This is the year of FAITH

Faith because I learnt to trust that the Lord is my hope. It was the year when I got baptized. It was also the year I chosed to enlist myself in being a servant in the church. So it has a lot to do with growth in Christ.

I remembered that there was a verse I got quite attached to that became the foundation of my growth - Phillipians 3:8-9 - I consider them all rubbish (talents), to gain Christ. That I may not gain Christ by righteousness of my own through law, but by faith. It reminded me time and again to never forget where my talents, gifts and blessings come from. It has so much to do with having that intimate trust in the Lord to know for sure that the boat won't sink when the storm sets in. Because Jesus is at the helm.

Second year syllabus was way harder than the first. And there were a lot of exams - it took a lot of faith to go through them all. I recalled that there was an anatomy exam I went to, and it was so nerve wracking. I didn't really sleeped much that night and I was groggy and dizzy. And I remembered passing that exams, and was so overjoyed that on the way back, all I could do was proclaiming the Lord's goodness. PT was there too. hehe. It was good. Times were tough, but it wasn't as tough as...

3rd year
This is the year of SUFFERING

You got that right. Let me put it this way. If 1st and 2nd years are prelims, then 3rd year is the state examinations. Its like taking GRACE + FAITH, to counter suffering.

Well, first sem was pretty hard on me. It was for the first time I physically and spiritually felt that God had withdrawn from me. The year's syllabus was no joke. Just that nothing seemed to go right in the sem. I've grown fat (noooo...). I had poured my heart into studying some subjects that in the end, didn't payed off. I used to believe that what I put in I will reap. It didn't seem that way in this year, where you can practically eat, breathe, sleep the subject but when the teacher's nood is foul there goes your exams. A particularly agonizing experience was internal disease. It appears that we have to do some hands on this time in exam and I am not a good hands on person. The professor was extra grumpy. Without giving me much time to do my thing - I got 3 fails for my 3 practical questions. That was bad. I felt that given time to show what I can do, I'd eventually get there. That really sucked big time, and I did try to give my all in the next theoretical part, but a part of me just gave up. It was so defeating, I was prepared to resit the exams, and the results did not make things easier. I was pretty sure I failed, and somehow, I got a pass of 50. Thats like borderline. Markah kesian perhaps.

That, plus all other exams that didn't really favor me, made me start doubting a lot. I was tired and unhappy and a part of me just didn't really want to do medicine anymore. I was done with. I got quite angry at God - like why was I blessed so much in the past years just so that I can fail miserably this year - and it was a really long soul searching prayer with Shyang that changed it all. I felt like the Jews coming out of Egypt into the desert and screaming at God - why have we been brought out of Egypt to die in the deserts. Then it all made sense. It was a test, a long one, but still a test. And then I learnt. So second sem came, and it all became a lot easier. My focus was clearer on God, and my walk was more grounded because of what I learnt. Praise the Lord!

Oh and don't forget all the hair pulling agonizing moments we had. Like Pharmaco exam where, according to Sue - was the one single exam that the most people threated to jump off the building. Hehe. It was tough really. Imagine having to sit for 4 exams in a span of a week, then the next week 3 exams in a week and it goes on. Hence the late nights and last minutes. Hence the SHAURMAAA-s. (It's a scream we do to release stress, or at least, I do, hehe). So don't tell me to prepare for exams earlier to avoid all that, and don't you even DARE to start on the best studying plans. Try sitting for them exams a stretch and you'd know what I mean. And here's to all my 'comrades' who survived it all - the joy, tears, makaning, travels, talk, gossip. It was a blast.

And I can't help but to wonder what has God in store for me in 4th year. What'd be the theme. Waiting with baited breath... but not too baited.

Of food and art

2008-04-07T10:04:00.001-07:00

I tried out another recipe I conjured myself. This is butter chicken with wine. I cooked the chicken with wine, then smothered it with butter, then baked. The gravy is potato with a mix of spices and milk. I dunno wat to call it. Milkwine chicken perhaps. But it tastes great. Ahh... score one for the chef!

Mondays are boring days. Second weeks especially so. Since we get to see our 'great' boring lecturer for 5 hours, it is just radiology overkill. My glasses don't serve me as well as it used to, so I keep straining my eyes looking at the lecture board, I just gave up after 30 mins. I can borrow the lecture notes anytime later. Then, in radio class a while later, its the same boring procedure - (as our lecturer says it) to 'copywrite' his notes. Way productive 3 1/2 hours. So I end up doodling. I had this image in my head, the concept arts from Tomb Raider, and its torturing me. I had long forgotten how to use perspective in art since P. Seni ages ago, so I thought it'd be a good time to sharpen my rusty art tools a little. I had wayyy too much time in my hands anyways.

So here it is, after a few hours of playing around. Dang, I can't believe I created my very own Lara Croft concept art - a room of sorts, Egyptian style. It has been so long since I drew anything, this was surprisingly entertaining for me to do. Time just flew in radio class today. Ahhh... score one for the artist.

There's one problem tho. Can't decide which looks nicer - the normal one or the negative version. I personally felt the negative had more umph. Go go Fong Yoon! Your turn now!

Italian food

2008-04-06T05:09:00.000-07:00

Last week I went on a rampage on italian dishes. I made way too many lasagnas and pizzas and other stuff to recount. Just so to find the perfect match and that perfect look and that perfect taste. Seriously, I think I have learnt to cook great meals since I've been here. Waiting to try that out at home. Watch out dad! Competition is on the way. Luckily I managed to whip out the camera to snap a few shots before all went down. Except the lasagna, which was 3 servings short, lol.

This is mushroom risotto with pork and cheese. Cooked with vegetables, and baked to perfection!

This is Kevin's special lasagna bolognaise. This baby took a solid 2 hours to prepare, but the taste is worth every minute of it. And it cuts out in perfect squares!

And there's the poor thing who is starving, waiting for the owner of the dish to finish snapping the photo. Don't gimme those doe eyes. I care only for my lasagna! Mwahaha!

Now the pizza is missing. That will have to wait till the next post. Oh no, I'm going to grow fat with all that cheese and meat!

tagged thingy

2008-04-05T08:24:00.000-07:00

Sue tagged me. Thanks for giving me a reason to update lol.
Instructions: Remove one question from below, add in one of your own(personal), to make a total of 20. Tag 10 people in your list in the end of this post. Notify them.

1. At what age do you wish to be married?
I have always been complaining that I'd most probably end up old and alone. Maybe cos I am not ready. Or maybe I have not quite moved on just yet. But I know that the Lord has a plan for me - the perfect person in its perfect time and perfect place. So I'll wait patiently for that person whom shall have undivided, unrequited love showered upon her everyday. Hehe.

2. If you were to be stranded on a deserted island, who are the 3 blog buddies you'd take and why?
I don't have many blog buddies, so anyone will do. But I guess most probably...
i)Billy - just perfect for this occasion. Most probably the person whom I will enter Amazing Race with, if I have the chance to. I guess the only person who can tahan me in the long run. lol.
ii)Chiong - we'll be praying and praying for that SOS boat to SOS us.
iii)Sue - just so that I have someone else to irritate other than Billy. haha.

3. Where is the place that you want to go the most?
Home.

4. If you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be?
Just one? Aww. To be a man of God, a successful doctor, a good father and husband. Wait. That's 3 dreams.

5. Do you feel that life has treated you fairly?
Life is always fair. You reap what you sow.

6. What are you afraid to lose the most?
My family.

7. If you win $ 1 Million, what would you do?
Bless my family with things they need - a comfortable home, a better car, pay off those loans.

8. If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
I might. Depends on the person, but no such luck just yet.

9. List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you.
3?? No kidding? Even ONE would be overkill. Well then, lesse. She is witty, smart and has the ability to connect with people. She bakes! She does taekwondo really well, and she teaches me some really spunky moves, although often she is wayyyy too modest. I don't quite get it why she refuses to be acknowledged when I show off them moves to friends though. lol.

10. What requirement you wish from your other half?
She has to have the same passion (or more) for Christ, so that we can bring each other to new heights in our devotion for the Lord. She doesn't have to be super because no one is perfect. However, she has to be a person who can stand firm in her own beliefs.

11. What kind of person you hate the most?
I don't hate - I may dislike. I guess I haven't met many people whom I hate, except one. And boy isn't he crazy. Not crazy 'ha-ha', but chisin crazy. Eww.

12. If you are given the chance to go back to the past and make a difference, will you?
I wouldn't. There are things that I tortured myself over, things that I have done which I'm not proud of. But if I changed the past, I wouldn't have grown learning from those mistakes I had made. So, as much as I want to change my past, I wouldn't. The past can't hurt me now anyways.

13. What is your most embarrasing moment in your entire life?
If it was THE most embarrasing thing, trust me, you won't be reading about it here.

14. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
God.

15. If there's ever a war(or things that are similar) happening in your place, are you going to move to a safer place, or fight?
I don't belong in Ukraine - so I will most probably move. If there's a war in Malaysia, I'd move too I guess. Don't really feel like I belong there anyways.

16. If you have the chance, which part of your character you would like to change?
With God's grace - my temper.

17. Who is the person that you can share all your problems with?
Mom and dad. But I do share a lot with all my friends as well.

18. What's your weakest point?
My temper, although it has been pretty much reduced.

19. If you can choose to be talented in one field, what would it be?
Music. I have always wanted to be able to play all kinds of musical instruments and all.

20.At this point in your life, do you feel that you have truly discovered yourself and know what you're all about?
It's a continuous process learning about yourself and developing your character. No one stays the same, and people do change. But do I know who I am and what I am made of, and proud of it.

I tag anyone who read this post.

Lookalikes

2008-02-03T16:32:00.000-08:00

I never quite understand it when someone says that pets look like their owners, or owners look like their pets - whatsoever - until now. Take a look see!

Don't we just complement each other? Not quite, but close enough, lol!

Cheesecake and pizza and boredom

2008-01-20T15:57:00.000-08:00

I made a cheese cake on Wednesday. It was my first cake, but it turned out better than I expected. Even my 'baking tutor' agreed it was nice, but frankly, I kinda think it was too sweet. Maybe its because of the cookie I used for the base. It feels good to be able to do something simple like baking as opposed to stressful stuff like memorizing drugs. It feels good to feed some friends. Also, I made a pizza. It was delish. It has sausage, crabstick, ham, lots of cheese (I am a cheese freak), corn, pineapple, chicken. Yeah, that's all I did for this week. Hols here are boring me to bits - whoever knows me knows that I don't bake or cook for fun. But here I am baking and cooking like there's no tomorrow. At the rate I'm going, I can start feeding the entire hostel. But I am getting ahead of myself. I am bored. Honestly. Can't you see this post itself is the expression of pure boredom. Aurrghh. I need to sleep.

Egypt

2008-01-18T00:36:00.000-08:00

Its a sad feeling watching your friends go on a trip, to a place where you want to go so much, but you can't. All you can do is to watch and be joyful for them, although inside you're tearing to bits. It takes so much strength to tell the people you love that its alright - that you don't really want to go and see the world out there, when that is all you can think about. And everytime a friend ask you why you don't go, it hurts to tell them that money is a factor. Money should never be a factor. And now the opportunity is missed. All that is left are potential memories of a lifetime that are lost. When friends gather to share their experience on that very trip, it will rip me to shreds even more to know that I could've been there - that I could've been sharing, not merely listening.

Still I praise the Lord, and hope that new opportunities may arise. Even as it hurts so bad, I know that in time, old hurts go away. The Lord renews me, as He had always.

Thank God

2008-01-05T00:17:00.000-08:00

Exams have been for what now, five six weeks? Truth be told, its quite sickening. In addition to exams, we have classes during exams as well. Its funny (as in stupid funny) that people here can deal us some crazy schedules like this. In the end, you're torn between studying for classes and studying for exams. So, its been a tiring journey through third year. Very tiring. Its all kinds of tiredness - mental, physical, emotional - you name it, I've been through it.

But it occured to me - why am I complaining? Am I really that tired? There are people out there who don't have the priviledge to study. There are people out there faced with troubles far greater than meagre exams. And they are not giving up yet. Why should I?

So the reason for this post was reflection and thanksgiving.Through it all, thank God I've managed to pull through every single exams (even those I thought that I'd fail) - sometimes with exceptional results. It's a blessing, not a coincidence, which I couldn't have achieved on my own. Sometimes when life moves too fast, we forget to stop and give thanks to the one who made all these possible. Even when it seems that the world is against me, He has given me great strength to press on - Psalms 56:4 " In God, whose Word I praise. In God I trust, I will not be afraid. What can mere man do to me?". Yes, in every circumstance, praise God, trust God and He provides. What is the worse that the world can do to me, if God is with me?

Looking back, its undeniable that He has always been there for me. His Word has power! Without Him I can't do all this, I just won't have the energy. Thank God that even when I'm tired, I know it will be lifted when I seek Him for renewal -
"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."
(Mat 11:28-30)

More importantly, I learnt that through troubled times, its not enough to rely on my own strength. Sometimes, it is so much easier to want to skip church or bible study, just so that I can study more. Regrettably I had done that, but I praying and working hard to be stronger, so much so that one day, it will no longer be a concious decision to choose between God and studies, but a reflexive action - that God always comes first. As is written in Matthew 6:33 "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you."

So in the end, its time to stop complaining, and start giving thanks, because in every circumstance we've been set in, its all an opportunity to praise God, to let Him work in us. Praise God that trials come, so that we may grow and learn to trust in Him. Praise God that He never will abandon nor forsake us, and that as a living God, is capable of everything and anything. Praise God that He is a personal God. Praise God that we can have a wholesome fulfilling relationship with Him. Praise God that he is always in control, even when things doesn't seem to be in control. Truly - praise God!

Weather

2008-01-04T01:27:00.000-08:00

Its cold here! Its a first video on weather, with Khai Fatt doing vo. A snippet of what to expect in Simferopol in the next few days.

Tibafibula

2007-12-05T14:17:00.000-08:00

Today a new discovery was made. Somebody really smart found a new bone structure in the human body. This new bone, this, tibafibula.

It happened about 3.40 pm in a small little room, in a small little hospital, in a somewhat forgotten part of the world. Who knew that this little known town could produce a miraculous discovery that would shake the foundations of anatomy forever! And this is the story leading to this fantastic find:

It was surgery practical exams today, and a part of our task today was to prepare a blood test and to read an x-ray. The x-ray was handled by this teacher-doctor guy. As soon as we sat there, we were instructed to take an x-ray and make a diagnosis. Mine looked something like this

For those of us who are not anatomically inclined, here's a retouched version - approved by Moore and Persaud, as well as Frank Netter -

When I got that slide, I heaved a breath of relieve – a sure win slide I presumed. Or so I thought. So, when my turn came this was how it sounded like:

Teacher guy: Make diagnose.

Me : (confidently) This is an x-ray of a closed fracture, oblique – most probably blunt force, to the femur…

Teacher guy: (Frowning) Hmmph. Femur… (NB: Try saying the line with a condencending tone. Stress the “hmmph”)

Me: (Perplexed) What?

Teacher guy: (Irritated) It is not femur. (Rolling eyes) It’s a tibafibula. Goodbye.

All the while, that guy was shaking his head, priding himself in this new discovery of his. In my mind I was thinking – no way. No friggin way. In my 2 years studying anatomy in its myriad of forms, I had never seen a tibia looking like this. Nor a fibula. But a tibafibula? Fascinating…

First of all, this is a fracture of tibia and fibula...

Not this...

Also,
1. It was one bone, not two.
2. There is no such thing as a tibafibula. Statements like that disqualify you as a basic anatomist. More so if you’re a doctor-teacher.
3. I don’t deserve a ‘satisfactory effort’ for making a correct diagnosis to a wrong teacher.

Basically, its either a tibia, or a fibula, not both. If it is a fracture of both bones, you'd see 2 fractures in 2 bones. Simple.

Now now, that was the old version. Behold the new discovery of the millenium!

But hey, why stop there? If its as goofy as it sounded, why not add a smiley face to it? Then, he can print copies of this atrocity and declare his newfound fame, sans copyright! Not that anyone would challenge his discovery.

Smartass.

Regardless, I don’t give a flying rat’s ass on the test. It just that it amazes me so much that some teachers here don’t really care about what they’re teaching to us students. It s like an I-don’t-care attitude that makes me want to shrivel and die in their classes. Worse, I think its beginning to rub on me, that sickening feeling of apathy. Those classes that you just want to get over with, and never look back. (cough cough peds cough cough)

On the brighter note, tomorrow is Internal Disease day! Thursdays is the good day of the week because of IntD. A sense of accomplishment, and a sense of pride in holding your studies in the highest regard. Now that’s what medicine is all about.

So get a hint, teacher-doctor guy. Be a man. Do the right thing. Study anatomy well, because a discovery of tibafibula will never win you a Nobel.

Unhappy

2007-11-27T14:42:00.000-08:00

I used to think that depression and mania are for weakies who need to get a hold of themselves. Not anymore. Someone pass the amanzapine!
Try as I might, I can't find a single joyous sentence to paste here. No. There's nothing left in me.

Moodless

2007-11-20T13:48:00.002-08:00

It's sad that after such a long time being unable to pen my thoughts down, its going to be another round of "oh-I-so-hate-my-situation" post. Yet again.

Do enlighten me on how the world works somebody - why must there always be someone in this world who thrives on making your life miserable just so that they can be happy. Is there some sick feeling of pleasure they derive from putting people down? Its the kind of things that you don't have to do, don't have to say, for crying out loud - if there's nothing good you can say to people, just zip it! Personally, I don't know how some people can just say things without putting a single thought into the things they say. Isn't it more empowering to bring people up rather than to put people down?

And what did I do about it? I let it slip. Like always. Kevin always let things slip. Do I have to? No. And why do I? I have no idea. Its like an expected virtue on my part to always ignore the harsh things people dish out to me, and to turn a deaf ear on hurtful words. And graciously turn the other cheek for them to smack, and smile, showing the world that everything is ok. And for a moment if I ever ever retaliate, I'll be branded with more names and terms. Eurgh. So sick of my situation. Maybe, just maybe, if I can grow more of a spine. Maybe if I can be more of a take-no-prisoner tough, no-shit person I used to be. I wonder if I did indeed mellowed down with age, with circumstance? I missed being the old me. When did I became so soft? Like a giant tofu...

And all this - before a flurry of exams. I don't like 3rd year at all. Not a sliver. I want a change of some teachers. I want out, if only for a day. Eurgh.

Third year

2007-09-22T14:48:00.000-07:00

I sometimes wonder whether I think I have been sent here for my very own amusement. Amusing myself with endless work and more rubbish. By rubbish, I naturally meant, of course, these rather infantile classes that have been plagueing my schedule as of late. It seems to me that in the pursuit of a wholesome education, somebody decided that it would be with our best interest in mind to encumber us with more meaningless subjects on top of the endless classes that we have to go through. And this I tell you with utmost dissatisfaction, there is reason to expect more weariness, tempers and complaints this year round. Lovely.

Time

2007-08-22T05:35:00.000-07:00

I resign to the fact that I can never squeeze more time from time itself. It's a realization that time neither flows faster nor slower. The anticipation (or avoidance) of something distrupts the perception of time flow. That said, I'm ready, albeit with a heavy heart, to fly to Ukraine again for another term.

Lately

2007-08-08T10:53:00.000-07:00

Lately I have been getting into the very bad habit of sleeping late again. I think if there's a competition for choosing the most nocturnal creature, I'd most probably win hands down. Heck, why stop at winning when you can RULE? Come to me ye werewolf kings, vampire lords and children of the night! Nights are the time for us creatures of darkness to assert our dominion (insert evil laugh here :p). Just the sight of my eye bags in the morning make me want to melt into the bed again. Mornings... urgh. And why do I shun mornings so (eyebags aside)? Lesse...

1. Morning brings another day. Yeah. New days aren't really that fun - you just want the days to last longer. Another day gone means another day closer to September. Septembers are evil. The mere thought of going back to the airport, 11 hours on air, going back to that crummy old hostel without food, without family for a solid 10 months more ... it rips me up to shreds. Argghh... and medical checkups. And there in Ukraine will be another year of solid hell specially prepared for me. Rats.

2. Things that are left unaccomplished are reserved for another day. Before this, I guess never really meant exactly what I say when I say that there is never enough time to do things. Until now. The amount one can accomplish in a day is just so so few. See, I have yet to visit Singapore (delays suck), yet to see Harry Potter (or Transformers for that matter), yet to go back kampung, yet to go on a shopping spree... urghhh... It makes me wanna scream - Where have my holidays gone?

I have been having nightmares too - about what's going to happen soon, the impending flight, things I haven't done just yet. Breaking out cold sweat in the middle of my sleep... huhu.

Hopefully the blues will pass, and let me enjoy my remaining days here.

Funnies

2007-07-22T23:23:00.000-07:00

A new mission

2007-07-03T03:26:00.000-07:00

Yeah. It has been 3 weeks already and it just didn't feel like 3 weeks had passed at all. I still felt fresh from the plane, as if it was just yesterday. And what have I accomplished, aside from savouring abundant food (nice), and gaining some weight (not so nice), meeting people, going to hospitals? Oh yes, and a new mission.

It just happened that I was thoroughly insulted by some people on a meeting last week. It was those kind that just pierces through your self confidence, and shakes you up, infuriates you. That did it for me, because I have never been one to stand for such thoughtless remarks so generously offered in abundance. And what was it about? Don't hold your breath... weight issues. Laugh, all you, laugh. But if you were me, and you were there at that moment, you'd wish you were some kung fu king of sorts. I'd personally karate chop that guy's voice box 18 times.

Anyway, that will be my new mission. I have yo-yoing weight, but admittedly, that it had never been a major problem for me. I think that I had been the one to take every compliment (or insult) with a pinch of salt. Why, at the end of the day, it's your opinions about yourself that matters the most, right? But that day stirred me up enough to make me want to do something about those new soft lumps that became a completely new discovery to me. Honestly, I had never been too critical of how I appear, but that comment was the last straw for me. Besides, I don't think I want to spend my years as an overweight doctor with diabetes and artherosclerosis. Time to build some self esteem!

So it was a week ago, and surprisingly, I am still driven. It took a lot of effort to say no to that box of durians waiting in the fridge, Secret Recipe blueberry cheesecake, KFC, etc. I am dying from the morning jogs and weights training. I can't believe that I came back, just to starve myself and have pulled muscles. In 2 months time, I'd be back to a place without durians, blueberry cheesecake, KFC... arghhh. But I... must... persevere.

However, despite those grueling hours and unresolved cravings, I managed to loose 3kg in a week. Wee! It's like receiving a big fat paycheck after some really really hard work. Well, another week, another 3kg. Man, I can't wait. For those of you who share my sentiments - don't give up, don't give in. Be steadfast in your commitment, because the prize is nearer than you'd imagine.

Home

2007-06-18T21:38:00.000-07:00

I am home at last. It has been hectic, with little rest, but it's home. I am not complaining. It feels good to be without stress for a change.

OoOoO

2007-06-08T17:25:00.000-07:00

I miss home more and more. I will fly back on 12th June, because there is no room for failing.
I need to pass exams. These 2 weeks have whipped me inside out. Lets just get it done with.
I can't sleep... no sleep. I need matchsticks and more caffeine.
I have 2 days more to surgery and topo anat, with 1000 objectives and 100+ more oral, and 20 practical tasks left. I have been spending nights and days mulling over bits of information I barely understand. I am grasping at straws.
But people don't understand what it feels like to be me. Don't tell me that I will survive, just because it is expected of me to pass. Don't patronize me with empty words telling me that I don't have to study to pass. Don't. Just don't. Because passing don't come without worthwhile actions.
Do tell me that I will survive because my Lord Jesus is always there to take care of me. Do tell me that we'd see each other on the same flight home, because we've done the best we could. Do tell me that this nightmare will be over. Soon.

I need to sleep now, because tomorrow will be a new day, and new days are good for worn out souls like me.

I am a cup of coffee

2007-05-20T01:40:00.000-07:00

I am bored. I had just finished physiology exams and waiting patiently for the next set of exams to begin. So I am writing a post. A meaningless post. So here goes.

Remember the time when my stupidity and laziness landed me in the hospital? There I was, on the bed with a long tube stuck down my throat, vomit all over myself. And when I was done with that horrendous experience, the doctor diagnosed my problem, and told me the outcome in Russian. (Now I know that I've been ranting about myself not understanding Russian for a while now, but yeah - I'm just clueless then, as I am now. And that is after 6 hours Russian classes per week. Go figure.) Yeah, I didn't know what the heck was wrong with me, but I kinda figured it out a lil - my diagnosis slip had the words 'cells of stomach', 'dead', 'acidic', and 'pain'. Yeah, I had gastric problems and heartburn.

Back then, I made myself eat 5 meals a day, and throw away my coffee. My precious can of addictive happiness. That thing that keeps me up and wide awake the whole night, to cope with all these crazy workload. I lasted a month without coffee and barely made it through classes alive.

But that was over now. I am proud to say that I have reduced my intake from 6 cups to 3 on average. Woo hoo, pat on the back. Err... but I think that I am going to have liver malfunction pretty soon. Oh man, I have gotta stop. But the temptation... is... too much... cos I just bought another bottle of Nescafe Gold and it's staring at me day and night, begging me to partake of its aroma. Ohhh the agony!

On the brighter note, the water boiler just caught fire. See - no water, no coffee.

I took a lil test on coffee and valla - I am an expresso. :)

You Are an Espresso

At your best, you are: straight shooting, ambitious, and energetic

At your worst, you are: anxious and high strung

You drink coffee when: anytime you're not sleeping

Your caffeine addiction level: high

What Kind of Coffee Are You?

All that there - it's true 100% alright. Especially the caffeine addiction part.

Happy mother's day

2007-05-12T15:41:00.000-07:00

For my first year, I've learned that culture here is not the same as culture back home. Different culture means a different set of holidays. Among the many new (or different) holidays are:
1. Victory Day, 9 May - celebrating those heroes who defended Crimea from those evil evil British and French. To arms my brothers, to arms!
2. Labor Day, 1 May - happens to be the single MOST IMPORTANT celebration. Cos they were a communist country, they used to get 2 days off instead of one. Which explains why workers here are such whiny people they are, now that they get only 1 day off. Ngehehehehe!
3. Orthodox Christmas, 7 January - I like this one, cos it means we get to celebrate christmas twice!
4. Lenin's Birthday - another celebration of utmost importance for the locals. During this day, we are always adviced to not walk in the parks, because we'd most definitely get beaten by gangs.
5. Hitler's Birthday - Punks, satanists and sad sad people who revered Hitler roam the parks and terrorize people. With their M-16s and parangs... hehe... just joking.
6. Sala day - where locals gather and feast on dried pig fat. The fatter the better.

However...

It just happen there is NO such thing as a mother's day here. (Gasp here, then read on).
Maybe that's why most of the aunties here are such perfect fruitcakes and so very anal about the little stuff. Those poor poor moms. Glad that I'm not Ukrainian. And that's not because I am not a woman.

Anyways, just want to wish my mom and those Russian moms I know and care about a wonderful Mother's Day! Moms are such blessings. When I think about mom, I think about big hugs, love and kisses, chocolate, bedtime stories, cookies and tarts fresh from the oven. There's the occasional rotan, but its becos I definitely deserved that. I remember being sad and there's my best friend to talk to me, encourage me, and accept me for whatever faults I have. And when I am happy, she's there to share the happiness. I am so blessed, cos not everyone had mothers that are like that. I thank God every single day for her.

Time out

2007-05-06T12:08:00.000-07:00

Throughout this year I've noticed that there are three things I can never escape from - practicals, hunger and exams. However, I am ranting explicitly on the worst of them all. The rest can wait. There is plenty of time for that.

Exams season is here biting at my heels again. Like a crazed sadistic creature waiting to torment me at every turn of the month. Usually I'm armed from head to toe, with my heavy dusty atlases, trusty pens and sharp tongue. Bring it on, I used to say - like Perseus waiting patiently, ready to slay the gorgon. This time around, it's the same old medusa, with its same old ugly face. Except that instead of a sword, I have now a stick. A short blunt stick. The kind that you use to... use to... hmmm... well, scratch that. It has no use. That is how I'm going to fight the ugly monstrosity - armed with a stick. Nice. Hey, tell you what? If I'm lucky, I can poke it to death. Ha! Go away you slimy exams monster you! *Poke*

See, in other words, I think I am doomed, unless I start making some hard ass preparation and train like there's no tomorrow. But there is a tomorrow, which means room for more slack. To top it off, my brain is not willing to work. You see, the wheel is turning but the hamster is dead. Yeah. I am definitely not in the mood to study at all. Zombies fill my mind! Regrettably.

I need time out. I want to write my story, draw my pictures, read some fiction. I need to get a new hamster for my wheel.

Do tell me to stop. I AM quite insane...

Conference

2007-05-05T17:02:00.000-07:00

Last week was church conference week. We had 5 days of holidays, technically speaking, cos holidays here aren't really like holidays back at home. The thing is, you have to replace classes pre- and post- holidays, so in the end, you end up not having much of a 'holiday'. Tell me, what kind of a holiday is it if you have to suffer double classes because of the leave hmmm? Stingy university can't afford to give me some time off my busy schedule they want to work me to death! Not to mention the 5 days contain weekends.

Back to the conference. This was the first time I've been to such a conference the church held at Yevpatoria. The last time was a couple of months ago, which I missed and I was not about to let this one slip by. The theme was discussing the Da Vinci Code, this theme that I was not quite looking forward to. You see, I've quite had had enough of the DVC stuff, after reading the book and watching the show twice, I've gotten quite the full details of everything Dan Brown had to offer. In addition, I've also read a number of articles, heard a number of talks on why DVC is a load of bull, so in all fairness, I was pretty much groaning at the thought of another talk on DVC. DVC is fun to read, yes, but historically accurate, definitely not. That's all I need to know. Or was it..?

There we were in beautiful Yevpatoria, in a lovely 'hotel' (not sure what to call it, but it was kinda like a resort hotel, so there), watching Lee Strobel's video on discussing the Da Vinci Code. There was 4 sessions, and our programme book had only info for sessions 2 to 4. Guess what the first session is? We get to sit down for 3 hours and watch the DVC. Heh.

The movie was the boring part. The fun part started when we began to watch and discuss Lee Strobel's perspective of the DVC. Seriously, it opened my eyes to many interesting stuff about the bible that I've never known before. Before this I knew that those claims Dan Brown made about the church, Jesus and all that in DVC was a faux pas. But there was not much I could say to back up my believes, except for faith and some superficial knowledge. This conference presented so much info that backs up the bible's authenticity, it slams the nail into the coffin for Dan Brown's fiction. KO.

Have you ever wondered how the bible came about? How authentic is it? I'm not talking about having faith in the Word - I'm talking about cold hard facts. I'm talking about historical facts. How for a fact do we know that it is the Word of God? And how was the church established? Who was Jesus and his disciples? Did the early church edited and chose which books to be put or deleted from the bible? Discussing the Da Vinci Code verify the claims to the authenticity of the bible, and tells you why the DVC is ficticious. Highly recommended for a thorough study not only about the falsity represented by DVC, but also to learn more about church history and all that is related to the foundations of Christianity. And no, I am not being paid for advertising this, thank you very much.

That aside, Yevpatoria is a great place really. Seaside and all. It's a port resort town, kinda like PD, but not as quite. Definitely would consider going back there if I had the time and opportunity again. Oh yea, if there is another thing I've learnt is how to skip rocks. Weee...!

The lobby of the Yevpatoria resort

Well, thanks to my camera's inability to shoot good photos indoors, this is pretty much the only good photo I had of the lobby, or the hotel for that matter. Heavens know I need a new camera.

Llama llama duck?

2007-04-22T14:41:00.000-07:00

Melissa shared this with me at sister Dolly's house just when I was about to leave. But since I was rushing back home, didn't really catch the whole thing. Out of curiosity and boredom, here's a rerun of...

The Llama Song

Just a quick question... how can a llama retire to be a duck??

We are the best students... wee!

2007-04-21T16:11:00.000-07:00

Hehe. I know, it's like selling rose saying the rose smells good (mm hmm... no mistake there). When Khai Fatt told me this morning that he and Shuk Fan had been entered into the Dean's list of top students, I was happy. Really happy. Not shocked though - it was about time. It was our dream to make it there, all of us, and it became true. And it didn't take us 6 years.

The best part of all is that it's there on the internet, in the university website where our names were being proudly displayed. You know this game you play sometimes when you're bored and feeling a little lame - you enter your name in Google search to see if you've achieved anything worthwhile to be displayed online (or just to see which other famous people shared your name). Well, finally. Something that points to us! Urra!

Check this out

All of this is only possible because the Lord is blessing us with good health, strong will and understanding. It just goes to show how faithful is our God, and He's a god of multiplication - whatever sacrifices, whatever time, energy etc. that you lay onto the altar - your returns are always multiplied in abundance. Glory be to God! Weee....

In the spirit of boredom

2007-04-04T12:11:00.000-07:00

Inspired by the Princess Reene...

Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence

You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well.

An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly.

You are also good at remembering information and convicing someone of your point of view.

A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary.

You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator.

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

What's new?

2007-03-31T06:19:00.000-07:00

A lot have been happening this past two weeks. In review:

1. I finally begun discipleship this week. Was supposed to start discipleship last year, but there was a lot of complications. Shyang was a great leader at church and it was pretty cool to be able to grow in the Lord's ways together. Gosh. Looking forward to next Wednesday too.

2. Finished my exams. Physiology was a tough subject to crack, but praise be to God! I got a 5 for exams and that was not entirely because of my own efforts. We had to pick 6 questions from a bunch of questions to answer, and it was a blessing that I got the easiest 6 questions to answer. Survived Microbiology. That's about it.

3. Sue and I was forced to attend some aromatherapy thingy (except it was called aroma compository or stg like that). At first, the psychologist told us that we had to do some interview with a camera crew for television. In Russian. I almost imploded - me? I could speak a lil in Russian, but to conduct an interview? We laughed about it, Sue and I, suggesting that if we don't understand her questions, we'd just answer "Oh, it is a wonderful aroma". That'd make her flip. Well, we did not get to do any interview though, just sit about and take a few camera shots. Maybe its because we only train ourselves to speak a minimum 4 word sentense for each question? It turned out ok - we did some 5 senses thing, where there is aromatherapy + music + coloured silk for touch + Crimean rose water + poetry. Cool.

Yep. Back to work then. Shoo.

Hopeless & In Despair

2007-03-18T12:54:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I just wish that I can press the fast forward button and go back home. I am sick, and tired, and I don't really want to care anymore. I want to press the red button. How is it possible to survive in this place? Are such feelings of hopelessness even possible by human definition? I am going to sit for some major exams, and yet, I am caught up in worries and more worries over things that I have no control over. How strange is it that people you have known for a long time, you end up not knowing them too well after all? Even if I try to understand people,why is it so that other people don't try to understand me? I don't even know what I am talking about anymore. I just want to break away...

Stop.

People say that if you wish hard enough, your wish may just come true.

I want to go home, I want to go home, I want to go home, I want to go home, I want to go home, I want to go home, I want to...

Drat... I'm still here. Groaaannnn...

Remembering Winter

2007-03-08T22:13:00.000-08:00

Taking some time off to remember some of nature's finest gifts from winter. Fresh from Simferopol.

Took this picture at church. Loved the icicles so much it was my desktop wallpaper for a week. Until I got bored of snow.

This little snowman lived outside of our hostel for a week until someone killed him with a shovel. Note the pose.

Snow angel! Too bad, it's not my snow angel. Maybe someday, when I get over the fear that I might be making a snow angel on some dog poo. Until then, I'd only be admiring them from afar.

In the world of snow, nothing lasts forever. It is so fleeting. Makes me cherish my moments more.

6 Weird Things? What weird things??

2007-03-03T10:43:00.000-08:00

Hen Hen! Look what have you done... Now, I have to start thinking on 6 weird things about me to fascinate you guys with. As if my life is not weirdness in itself already, but oh well - what's wrong with a little showcase! I know I'm a sucker for these kinda things...

Each player of this game starts off by giving 6 weird things about themselves. People who get tagged need to write in a blog of their own 6 weird things as well as state the rules clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. After you do that, leave them each a comment letting them know you tagged them and to read your blog.

1. I am a hopeless coffee addict. One day without coffee would be like a day without sleep. Or food. Or Russian language. It just won't happen. 3 - 4 cups a day is the norm. On peak stress periods, the minimum is 6 cups a night. Oh gosh, that puts lots of things into perspective - I'm killing myself. Hu hu...

2. I have a useless ability to commit to memory dialogues from movies or tv shows in a watch. Used to annoy my family with my endless recurring transcripts of the Emperor's New Groove. So there - "No touchy! "

3. I am a hopeless perfectionist. Friends have constantly told me heaps of 'It's ok-s' or 'Nevermind lerr...', to which I'd reply, "But it's not good enough!". Old friends would just tell me "Yeah, you're right. It is not good enough", to which I'd stop perfecting something. Like weird, totally.

4. I am afraid of balls of most kinds - football, basketball, whatever. It just freaks me out how much of a ball-magnet my head is. Whenever I am near any court, the ball'd just home in on my head like some kind of scary homing missile, and I'd be out cold on the floor with a new bruise to show off. Creepy.

5. I have a weird ability to mimic some people. Evil teachers, funny friends, bod head lecturers - none are spared. I get a kick out of impersonating their style of speech, intonation, down to the way they move. How bizzare!

6. Erm... I had eaten a cockroach when I was sleeping, without realizing it. Don't ask.

Wahaahhaa... now that I'm done - TAG! You're it!
a. Cutee
b. Sue
c. Wei
d. Big G (yes you!)
e. Reene
f. Gosh, everyone was tagged... phuuueeyyy...

Two lessons for today

2007-02-28T21:46:00.000-08:00

Someone said that everyday is a new lesson. Today I learnt a lesson. No, wait... make that two lessons.

Lesson number 1 - I have to (repeat: have to) be more independant. It is so sad to discover that I am still not as independant as I thought I would have been since coming here. It is sad to know that I am still riding on other people's coattails, still not having the guts to do what I really want to do, to say the things I really want to say. Why is it that we do things that other people expect of us, but do not do things that we expect of ourselves? In the end, who but we would bear the fruits (or worms) of our decisions and our doing -both good and bad? Its also sad to realize that I am still not adapting to this place quite yet. Consider that lesson learnt this morning.

Note: This is not a rant. I repeat: this is not a rant.

This morning, I had to go for hospital class. I had decided to leave 7.15 to grab a marshrut to Semashko together with my fwens. I was a little late however, albeit not fashionably. As I was about to arrive at the lobby of the hostel where everyone waited, I got a call. I was told that everyone left because it was already 7.15. My first thought was that of anger. I thought that it was a joke, but when I found out that there was really nobody there, that just fueled my anger. Angry thoughts trashed about inside me, and as I walked, I saw that everybody was already a street ahead.

By the time I reached the bus stop, everyone had boarded the bus, and I am there standing alone, swimming in anger - angry at being left behind, angry that I had been late, angry that my stupid short feet couldn't get me to the stop a little earlier. Luckily a bus arrived shortly, and I was cramped in like a poor Chinese sardin in a can of Russian sardines. That gave me time to think, because I was so ready to throw a hissy fit in class later. But I realized that this was it - independance. My anger stemed from my fear of being left alone, not knowing when to get the bus to stop. I do not want to be shipped to Yalta! I realized also that had I been more in control of my surroundings, I do not have to rely on others to get me to places that I want to go to. I do not have to wait until somebody wanted to go to the supermarket to actually do my shopping. In the end, I could not be angry at anybody but myself. Seriously, I am not angry at anybody, nor do I want anybody to be angry at me for what I did, so there.

The good news is that I did not get shipped to Yalta. I was not late for class. I learnt to be more independant than before, even if it is just to do such small little things. It feels good to be not so petty, to take things as they come, and to put the past behind me for real.

And oh, lesson number 2 - I learnt how to take a bus to the hospital without getting lost.

The Price of Luxury

2007-02-23T16:56:00.000-08:00

It amazes me that LUXURY comes in a box, costs 11 BUCKS, written in ENGLISH and gives a sensation of elegant POSHNESS.

Birthday!

2007-02-20T15:17:00.000-08:00

Somebody turned 21 this month.

Guess who?

We went to Bravo's to celebrate on a very cold Sunday evening. Right after the day when we stuffed ourselves crazy with food and salad, now we're marching all the way to the other side of town to conquer a steak house. Being Malaysian is fun... for the sake of nice food, we'd go to the ends of the earth to savour our taste buds. Anyway, Bravo's is a steak house, that once turned us down (there were 20++ of us, and they shoo-ed us, cos there was not enough room. Bah.)

The place is nice, the price was nicer still... but there was some nicely decorated foodstuff. Check it out:

Urgh... Caesar salad. I thought we have had enough... but oh well.

It was a pretty romantic little spot. But there was not many people there that day. I wonder if that is all the customers they get on a weekend, how they'd fare on weekdays? But then again, for the price they charge, I'm sure they can find some way to survive. We arrived at 5.45 and ordered at 6.

Dear... what to eat huh? Everything looks suckie...

The food took hours to arrive... and meanwhile, we began to do some crazy stuff with our cameras, and our fingers. There was a touch sensitive table lamp. Touch it once, and it switches on to low lighting... twice - medium lighting, thrice - bright lights. Touch it again, it will go off. We went crazy with the lamp, and I bet the waiters were eager to get rid of us jakuns before we short circuit their lamps. It was a nice dinner, but wasn't really filling though.

The main course most of us had was the Bravo's steak, that came out with some flames (seriously, they light a piece of bread on fire, and placed it on our steak).

Look closely... you can see the flame on the bread!

Chee Yuan got some salmon thingy and some meat (forgot what that was). He definitely wasn't thrilled with the food - it could've been better. The salmon was fishy. But we most definitely had lots of fun.

L-R: Sue, Wilson, Kent, Theng and Pei Teng.

L-R: Pei Yin's hair (sorry Yin!), Me, Wei, Cyuan, Kfatt, Fan and Chan Yong.

As usual, when we are not quite full yet, we'd end up in McD for some extra stuff. Desserts at McD is compulsory for some of us. It was agreed though, that the McD stuff was better than the Bravo stuff. Oh... speaking of which, I found a shocking revelation of Ronald McDonalds somewhere...

Good time great taste... at McDonalds. I'm loving it!

Hehe. Happy 21st birthday Cyuan!

CNY Ukraine – Of Festivities, Friends, Murder Mystery, Cornucopia and Salad-d-phobia.

2007-02-17T16:05:00.000-08:00

Oh gosh – my second Chinese new year away from home. A few days before CNY itself oredi feeling the blues, down in the drains. Billy will be able to return back to Kampar to celebrate, and here I am stuck in this place without comforting food, without firecrackers, without cheerful laughters, without cute babies (can’t pull their cheeks wide and shout – eeee… cute-nyaaaaa!), urghghhh… without ANG POWS!

And so here I am - stuck.

On new years eve our class had planned out some kind of a reunion dinner, which frankly speaking, should be called something along the lines of ‘let’s-pretend-we’re-home-for-CNY dinner’. Definitely not reunion – we see each other nearly more than we see our parents at home, so, not much of a reunion there. See, the thing is, CNY in Simferopol is definitely not CNY at home – but we just keep each other company in moments of misery… aren’t friends great?

Anyways, our day on new years eve started with last minute shopping for stuff to cook. Skip the shopping part… we started cooking at about 5 (some later though), cos we planned to start the dinner at 7. We witnessed…

Peeling of the roots of 2kg worth of taugeh...

Guardian cow guarding the taugeh peelers (courtesy of Sue)

Murder of 2 carps. (We bought them at Silpo at 2pm, fresh and alive in a plastic bag, and dumped them in the fridge for 3 hours. And guess what – they’re still alive! Oh, the pain… Khai Fatt was terkejut-ed when he found the fish still actively trashing in the bag… and whacked them mercilessly on the head with Kent’s fryer… but what chances does 2 innocent defenseless fish have against the mighty surgeon to be? Will they stand up against all odds and emerge victorious??

Guess not… but may you fishies rest in eternal peace (in our tummies)

Boiling of a chicken...

Like the typical Malaysian we were brought up to be, if we begin eating at 7, that would mean that we begin cooking at 7.30. In the mean time, Kher-Wei had decided that she had received enough bad publicity from the accusations poured against her concerning the alleged murder mystery of her bear. And so, she decided to reveal the whereabouts of her captive…

Hey look! She’s alive!

Kher-Wei, when questioned by the whereabouts of her bear. “No comments.”

The food turned out to be scrumptious, and abundant. We had home made steamed chicken, steak, steak with cheese, pork with mushroom, pork with peanuts, slightly burnt mushroom soup, broccoli, mashed potato, taugeh, tofu in a ma-po way… (forgive the weird names… bad Chinese to English translation)

And everybody… jiak p’ng!

It was said that food heals the soul… well, it did more than that. It felt really home like with all the laughter, free flowing humour, lame jokes, crap talk… and everyone was just stuffed. Even Khai Fatt the ‘rice pot’ was bursting at his seams. Even when we were done, there was still one big pot of Kent’s tasty Caesar salad left. Seriously, it was really good – Kent was the first in the kitchen and the last to finish – that was the amount of time, and effort that was put into the preparation of this salad. But when you’re really really full, salad or no salad – no food is good food.

But what is CNY without poker card? That was when we decided to play blackjack, but since some of us couldn’t gamble (no angpow = no money), we decided to gamble on the salad. The loser will get 5 spoonfuls of Kent’s tasty salad (girls get a 2 spoon discount). Our first victim turned out to be

Khai Fatt: I lurvee zhis sa-lat! Urm… zhis iz jes teisti… eeta fhkuzznaaa! Urp…

Theng - thoroughly enjoying stuffing himself silly with salad

That was when we were so sick of salad, every spoon was agony. We were determined not to loose, but sometimes, that was just inevitable. Theng called it – SALAD-D-PHOBIA, the fear of consuming salad.

My 15 spoonfuls of salad.

Sue’s 4th serving

Kher-Wei loving the mix.

Open wide!!

Kent: They made fun of my lur-ve-ly salat… Salad-d-phobia… phhffttt… It's just nonsense. My recipe iz zhe best!

Oh… the camera’s here! Let us all pretend that we’re really enjoying being tortured by excess food, yes?? Cheese!!! (L-R: Theng, Sue, Wei and Fan)

We’re certain we have salad-d-phobia. But it was real fun to be with a bunch of whacked friends who enjoy food and having fun with excess food. I had no homecooked food, but lovely food doesn’t have to be homecooked. I had no cheerful laughters with family, but at least I had friends whom I could lean on, and laugh with. I had no firecrackers to play, but I get to force people to eat salad. I had no cute babies to cubit, but I had Kher-Wei’s bear bear to cekik.

Cekik-ing Wei's bear bear...

Even Sue’s cow had to agree it was fun!

Well, happy Chinese New Year!
GONG XI FA CAI!

231

2007-02-13T15:48:00.000-08:00

Sometimes being here in this place makes me want to slap myself for giving up Singapore. Life could have been so much easier, so much more convinient. And yet here I am. Sometimes I have the feeling that I might not be cut out to do this crazy course - I knew I had to pull up my socks and prepare to work hard, but gosh was I ever so mistaken.

Medicine here is nothing like what I've imagined. To say that it's tough is an understatement - it's maddening. Obviously, I had not bargained for 8 hour classes a day, plus independant work, plus studying from when the sky was dark till dawn breaks. It just saps all your energy away. After one year of working hard to be on top, I've just had had enough. It's time to slow down. Even then, I'm still on edge. To top it off, this ulu place is really really ulu. More about the ulu-ness later...

But thank God for these amazing people that makes this journey so much more bearable. I can't imagine doing this without them - and to think that I used to dislike some of them, they had turned out to be such true gems. Shout out to you guys!

This is group 231

(L-R)

Kher-Wei : representing the partial-semi-Mongolians(?). volleyball pro and chilli chicken addict. guilty for alleged murder of her teddy bear. case pending.

Chee Yuan : shorter than me. fully saturated fatty acid. the only one of us all who can play a "C" on the guitar correctly. pet phrase: "anjing!!!"

Me : shorter than chee yuan (really). nocturnal creature. innocent........ (note the many dots)

Pei Yin : girl with many names. was mary lee, aunty pei yin, chileebi. recently became "camel". greatest phobia: saliva.

Sue : usually t-suai, or su-ye. ossasionally the "cow". mostly abubu. pure sugar nut. catch phrase: "Bod head".

Pei Teng, Frances : one france, many frances. grown in muar, developed in subang. adventurous, warm and friendly.

Chan Yong : priekhala iz penang. gives free hokkien lesson cos he is hokkien lang. tendency to laugh spontaneously. putera lilin dan raja merepek kerepek.

Shuk Fan : citizen of "the hong kong". Ah so number 2. Soya bean milk. small but packs some punch. aspires to be miss hong kong someday.

Khai Fatt : can be made into a cartoon character. eyes become invaginated and lost behind eyelids when the vermillion border of the lips curl up (simply speaking - mata sepet). Nice roomie.

"Friends - It redoubleth joys, and cutteth griefs in halves."

Francis Bacon (1561-1626)

English philosopher, statesman, and lawyer

Getting Started

2007-02-12T07:16:00.000-08:00

It has been a while now. Had already forgotten how to put up a blog - been spending hours trying to fix the pictures, learning how to edit posts and all. And with a deadly class tomorrow... oh gosh. Anyway, will try to find the time to learn how to post pictures, put up links and get a chatter-box up... if only I had paid attention during medical informatics classes... sigh.

Beginning

2007-02-11T17:19:00.000-08:00

This is a new beginning.